recent studies reveal that 100% of abortions are performed on women who do not wish to be pregnant and 0% of abortions are performed on conservative republican men
Time Magazine has recently announced that the new pope, Pope Francis, has been officially named their Person of the Year. This honor is designated for those who continue to set a standard for exemplary human beings in society.
"He was the most obvious choice," Time Magazine said. "We know there were a lot of strong choices this year. Many people who have made great strides in the sciences, in politics, in human rights. But Pope Francis was the clear winner here."
The reasons cited for this decision included “doing an extraordinary job meeting the basic minimum requirements for being a decent human being.”
"He’s fantastic," Time explained. "He says gay people and atheists are okay. Truly revolutionary. Why had no one else been brave and noble enough to say such a thing?"
Pope Francis has also shown remarkable compassion by not setting orphanages on fire, not decapitating random passersby with his trusty machete, and not dropping bombs on underdeveloped nations and feasting on the charred remains of their dead.
One woman who met Pope Francis said, “I remember when I met him a few weeks ago. He didn’t spit on me, or punch me, or smash my face in with a fire extinguisher, or anything like that. This is a Pope we can really be proud of.”
While Pope Francis has reportedly done virtually nothing to rectify many issues within the Catholic Church, many have praised him for “at least not exacerbating the problems, by throwing homosexuals into a pit of snakes. Imagine if we had a Pope who threw homosexuals into pits of snakes. That’d be terrible. Pope Francis is so much better than that.”
"He’s everything one would look for in a model person," Time concluded. "He stands as a reminder that, in order to be great, sometimes all you need to do is not be utterly terrible. Pope Francis is an inspiration to all of us who strive to not be actively reprehensible people. And he’s never stoned anyone to death. What a guy!"
Pope Francis Named Time’s Person Of The Year
The Wishwashington Post